Food is Good

Complicated Free Card Game

2008-04-25T01:43:00.001-04:00

from Ben and Davis's game previous night: Revived Aces moved to bottom of Ace stack

X Command (where X equals final Unit name) names for consideration:

King Command

Unit Command

Warfare

The Maginot Line (Wikipedia it) (I particularly find this to be a good name and description)

X Crusade (where X equals final unit name)

Categorical Mechology

XJ9

X Imperium (another good name/description that is a more grand synonym of X Command above)

Join the army, meet interesting people, kill them -Graffiti at Bromley-

Setup:

Recommended players 2-6 1 Deck of standard playing cards per player (including jokers) 1 Large Table Approximately 20 small tokens per player (i.e. pennies, beads, poker chips, human teeth, etc) for construction/wound markers

How to Win: If during a player's turn (but after given player's consolidation phase see below) all of the Aces in that player's base are destroyed, the given player is out of the game. The last player/team standing wins.

Unit Components and Base Cards: Spades: Armor cards. These represent the armor value of units and is used to determine the speed of a unit. Face cards represent modifications to armor or instances in battle where armor may perform better than intended.

Clubs: Weapon cards. These represent the weapons a unit possesses and is used to determine attack value in battle. Face cards represent modifications to attack or instances where attacks hit critical locations on an enemy.

Hearts: Life cards. These represent the life of units and is used to determine the health of a unit during battle. If a unit receives damage greater than it's life it is destroyed. Face cards represent modifications to a units life or repair/healing done to the unit.

Diamonds: Resource cards. These represent income for expenditure on unit building during the construction phase. These are also used to determine tactical advantage in battle. Face cards represent modifications to income or instances of tactical superiority over the enemy.

Aces: Base cards with 16 life each. These cards represent your Base and supplement your Units. Before the game, each player chooses the order their Aces lay in the Base pile as only one is viewable at a time. A player may tap the Base stack for +2 to any Unit at any time, but only of the component of the top Ace card (if the top Ace is a Spade, it may be tapped at any time to block 2 damage to any of the owning players unit, etc.). If during a player's turn (but after given player's consolidation phase) all of the Aces in the players base are destroyed, the given player is out of the game.

Event Cards:

All Jacks: When played immediately adds 3 to corresponding suites number for the turn. I.E. A player may add +3 to attack against an opponent during battle with the Jack of clubs or add +3 to a resource card's production during construction phase with the Jack of diamonds. Discard the Jack after it's use.

All Queens: When played may be attached to a unit (or resource card for diamond) to permanently add +2 to that value. I.E. A player may attach a queen of spades to a unit to give that unit +2 armor until that unit is destroyed or add the queen of diamonds to a resource card to increase it's resource production for the rest of the game by +2. One queen per unit.

The King of Diamonds: When played during a battle immediately grants the player initiative for the duration of that battle. Once a King of Diamonds has been played as such no other player may play a King of Diamonds to gain initiative for that battle. Discard the King of Diamonds after the battle. Also, during the construction phase a King of Diamonds has the ability to immediately complete the construction on any Unit Component. Discard the King of Diamonds after use.

The King of Spades: This card represents a unit miraculously blocking a shot in battle either by it being absorbed in the armor, dodging it completely, or by sheer luck. When played, immediately negates any damage done to a given unit or base card during a battle. Discard after battle.

The King of Hearts: Through years of training during battle repairmen and medics fix even the worst of problems in the middle of war to save a life. When played, immediately removes any damage tokens on a given unit or base card. Discard after use.

The King of Clubs: This card represents a unit finding that one weak spot in an enemies defense either by striking where there is no armor or dealing a critical blow during battle. When played, immediately negates any targets armor during a battle. Discard after the battle.

Jokers: Revive cards. These cards represent the combat engineers for your base. They reconstruct any destroyed base card. When played immediately restore any destroyed base card. Discard the joker after use.

Units:

Units are based on a three card combination; life cards (all numbered hearts), armor cards (all numbered spades), and attack cards (all numbered clubs). The cards attribute value is based on it's number, e.i. a 5 of hearts is worth 5 life to it's unit, a 7 of spades 7 armor, and a 6 of clubs two attack. This would be shown as such when played on the table.

Life: 5 Armor: 7 Attack: 6

Class: Medium

Also a units class is determined by it's stats. To build a unit all three stat cards must fall into the same class. These are light (2-4), medium (5-7), and heavy (8-10). For example, the unit shown above is a medium class. All three of the units stats are within the 5-7 range. Units may not be built unless all three of the stats are within the same class. I.E. a unit with a life of 8, armor of 7 and attack of 2 would not be allowed. Class is very important as it is a contributing factor in the game's battles. See the "battle phase" section below for more information.

Beginning the game: Players must first remove the ace cards from their deck and set these aside. These will become your base cards. Players then shuffle their decks and pass to the left to be cut. Afterwords a players area is to be set up as such:

Players then draw 5 cards to begin their hand. Use any necessary method to determine who goes first. (I.E. paper, rock, scissors; dice; coin flipping; fights to the death; etc; more fights to death; etc, etc)

Player's Turn: During a turn there are 4 phases. These are draw/untap, construction, battle, consolidation.

Draw/Untap: At the beginning of your turn you may untap any cards you control that have been tapped. This is the only time they can be untapped. This includes any unit, base, or resource cards. Afterwords draw two cards from the top of your deck. If at any time there are no cards available to draw from your deck shuffle the discard pile and place it face down to become your deck.

Construction: During this phase you may begin, continue, or complete any construction. Only number cards may be constructed, face cards are used for other purposes (see above). This is done by using your resource cards. Each card has a construction cost determined by it's numerical value. I.E. a 5 of clubs costs 5 to build. The only exception to this are numerical cards with the diamond as their suite. These are free to construct and may be played straight from your hand to the resource area of you base. Construction of other cards occur as follows:

First determine which card in your hand you would like to construct and place it face down in the construction area of your base. Then tap a resource card or cards by turning the resource card(s) 90 degrees to the right. Place an amount of tokens on the card being constructed equal to the amount of resource cards that have been tapped.

Keep in mind the numerical values for diamond cards are not used to determine construction markers. I.E. a 2 of diamonds and a 10 of diamonds both produce one construction marker when tapped. The numerical values of diamond suite cards come into play later during the battle phase as explained below.

Once the amount of tokens on the card being constructed is equal to or greater than the numerical value of the card construction is complete. This may take more than one turn. Turn the card face up and remove any construction markers from the completed card.

Resource cards may also be tapped to add construction tokens to a card that was built on previously. Once a resource card is tapped it may not be used to fund a construction again until it is untapped at the beginning of your next turn.

Also to note a card cannot be placed face down into the construction area unless it is going to have a construction marker placed on it that turn and any card that gives more than one resource (i.e. a tapped base card or tapped resource card with the Queen of Diamonds attached gives distributable resources. These do not all have to be used on one construction. I.E tapping a 3 of diamonds with the queen of diamonds attached yields three resource markers that can be used as if three separate resource cards were tapped.

Example: Player A has 3 resource cards in the resource section of his base. The player draws and receives a 5 of hearts. In his construction zone there is a 7 of clubs with 6 markers on it. Player A places the 5 of hearts from his hand face down into his construction zone and taps two of the resource cards allowing him to place two construction markers on the face down 5 of hearts. He then taps the third resource card to add one marker to the face down 7 of clubs thereby completing it's construction.

Battle:

A battle, much like a turn, is broken up into 4 parts. These are Engagement, Initiative, Combat, Outcome

Part 1: Engagement

The player declares their intent to attack another players base and Engagement begins. Light Units may be engaged by other Light Units. Medium Units may be engaged by Medium and/or Light Units. Slow Units may be engaged any Unit. Reminder: Light Component Cards are numbered 2-4, Medium Component Cards 5-7, and Heavy Component Cards are 8-10. The speed does not determine attack, but rather only the ability to block a Unit from attacking an Ace card (the attacker declares which Ace).

Part 2: Initiative Adding all the Resource Cards (diamonds) numbered values in your Resource Area produces the Initiative. Combat occurs simultaneously... however events are chosen before hand based on Initiative. Players show what they are going to do during Combat one at a time. This gives the advantage to those players who get to see other players moves before theirs. Instead of bickering over who goes first, higher Initiative is precedent to a players Combat move placement; players go in order of Initiative, players with lower Initiative show Combat before players with higher Initiative. If in all respects Initiative remains the same for all players, the attacking player receives the Initiative for the battle.

Part 3: Combat

If there is no engagement, the attacking player counts up wounds to their opponents Base, excluding any Armor (Spade) face cards the opponent uses. The engaged player with lowest initiative show what damage they will deal first, marking all damage on the receiving Units with some wound markers as based on Attack (Clubs). They also must play any defensive face cards (except Jokers) on their units before the next players turn. The player with the next highest Initiative that has been engaged then plays out their battles in similar, turn based fashion.

Part 4: Outcome

Based on wounds given, Players subtract all armor and then add wounds to each attacked unit or remove the Unit if it's wounds are equal to or greater than it's Life (Combined Clubs ≥ Spades+Hearts)

Consolidation: After all battles are completed during your turn the next phase is consolidation. It is during this phase that units are assembled, placed into the patrol zone, and existing units may move to and from the patrol zone. First thing a player may do is to move any existing units from the patrol zone to the guardian zone. The advantages of having a unit in the guardian zone is explained in the "Battle Phase" section above. Once all desired moves are made a player may then elect to assemble one or more units. To assemble a unit a player may take any completed life(hearts), armor(spades) a weapon(clubs) cards from there construction zone and place them together in the manner shown here:

This becomes a new unit and is placed untapped onto the patrol zone for use. In this case the unit built is a medium with 5 life, 7 armor, and 6 attack. It is important to note that this is done after units have been moved to and from the guardian zone. Thus, newly built units cannot be immediately placed into the guardian zone. Only 5 units may be collectively controlled by any given player.

Once the deck has been cycled through reshuffle and turn deck face down to refresh.

If at the end of the consolidation phase that players base cards are all destroyed he/she is out of the game. This means that even though you may have lost your base cards on your opponents turn you are not out of the game until the end of your next consolidation phase. This allows a player the opportunity to draw a joker and reconstruct an ace or deal a last blow to another opponent.

Once all other players are out of the game at the end of their respective turns the last player(s) standing is declared the victor.

Created by Joshua Hysong and Benjamin Wright. Inspired by the BattleTech CCG by Wizards of the Coast. Also influenced by a myriad of other games that shall be named here in the future.

Play testers:

Joshua Hysong

Benjamin Wright

Bob Ballew

Jeffrey Yaun

Davis Odom

Joshua Deck

email when finished to pklinect@tfc.edu - not done, but emailed anyways.

Using commercially any game guidelines or mechanics as listed in this game document requires the Creators (Joshua and Ben) explicit, written permission. This includes, but is not limited to, building units out of card "parts", and usable attributes attached to a card-made base.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 unported License.

I like Divx

2007-07-25T16:30:00.001-04:00

I can't do this often or really at all after this

2007-04-12T03:26:00.000-04:00

Just making a post. No reason. I still exist. I still check xangas, myspaces, bloggers, facebooks, diggs, and a few other interesting corners of the internet. I just don't post about all the interesting corners of my mind that I used to.

So I'm going to cheat this once and re-post something I wrote in 2005 because I like it and would like to apply it again (but perhaps now where it should be applied - to my wife);

A love like blinking; so natural that I only noticed it after it has happened and happened again and again and again. All the time I have known my love for her (just as I have known blinking), only now that I notice it consciously, a short while passes before it becomes natural again. Does the recognition of being in love change the very love itself? I suppose no more than recognizing blinking changes the very nature of blinking (from unconscious to conscious). Now there is choice when there should only be action. There is no choice [now], just the following [through] of the original action; love.

v.5

2006-11-11T11:08:00.000-05:00

Open source card game!!!

Joshua and I are currently creating/ have created a beautiful card game of great strategic importance. I'm not going to spoil it yet; it's unfinished, but some of our goals are:

1) It is turn based a la battletech and has resources, it is also a bit like Magic the Gathering.
2) It must be playable for 2 people with only 1 or 2 decks of (and this is paramount) regular playing cards per person and a few extra assorted props for wounds and construction (example: pennies) and have the potential for as many players to play as have decks. Included with this is that it is playable over a small footprint (like a dinner tray or smaller).
3) It is balanced so that chance will not win the game if you play very tactically soundly; tactics take the forefront and chance is simply a diversion to help balance initial and player tactics.
4) It doesn't have an outraguous amount of guidelines.
5) It has the ability/potential to last under normal playing conditions for 5-10 minutes or multiple hours

There are currently guidelines under 6 categories (they are: resources, health, armor/shield, initiative, special events, game ending).

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 2.5 License.

Hello

2006-09-05T19:06:00.000-04:00

I do really have lots of interesting things to write here.

I have no time.

Married Life

2006-07-26T04:07:00.001-04:00

I am offically married to Robbyn Wright!!!

Oh yeah, apparently (and I am not sure I am suppose to type this) married people have lots and lots of...

sex.

Married Life

2006-07-26T04:07:00.000-04:00

I am offically married to Robbyn Wright!!!

Oh yeah, apparently (and I am not sure I am suppose to type this) married people have lots and lots of...

sex.

I have (a) chin(s)

2006-07-06T15:06:00.000-04:00

Nothings been happeneing. The sun continues to do the thing it does, and the moon keeps pulling at those tides of yore...

and oh yes, I am getting married on the 15th.

Hallelujah

Some things are just gross enough to share

2006-04-02T22:14:00.000-04:00

Makes me feel better about my life:

This made my day

The Knot

2006-03-29T12:29:00.000-05:00

Clicky here!

Enjoy.

Poo

2006-03-28T10:11:00.000-05:00

After much searching for research and nothing on this particular matter of hygiene, I'd thought I'd bring to your attention a few thing you might not like.

I am an advanced butt-wiper, that is to say that I can satisfactarily wipe my bum after pooing by wiping from the back to the front without making any mess anywhere. This is about 21 years of experienced wiping, so only recommended to others if practiced for decades.

Not only so, but I wipe standing up. I may have heard that some people cannot wipe standing because their cheeks press together when they do so... I, however, being much skinnier than the average American don't have enough cheek for press-age to be a problem.

If you need further justification for my wiping from back to front, please comment, there is something I'm leaving out but it's slightly more personal yet very important to the nature of....
things.

So leave comments. How do you wipe, and do you have any actual research to show why your way is better?

One more thing...

2006-03-02T00:56:00.000-05:00

I suppose I'll write an elaborate version of the story soon enough here.... but until than....

Everything about our (Robbyn and I) engagement is out in the open; we hide nothing to the truly honest questioner. Therefore any doubts anyone has are not doubts from us - unless the questioner has asked inadequate questions.

Please don't blame us or make us out to be anything via assumption, but simply take the freakin time to ask me about us or my dear Robbyn about us.

That Which We Have Waited For.

2006-02-28T23:45:00.000-05:00

The official date is July 15, 2006.

"One Ring to rule them all"

2006-02-16T10:06:00.000-05:00

So her hand very shortly will sport a ring. The one I've been waiting for.

What do you think?

2006-01-31T22:00:00.000-05:00

What is the difference in a perfect friendship vs. a perfect marriage? The assumption is that even if perfection is not possible, we are striving for that as Christians, therefore we must define it. On that note, please leave your thoughts on this matter as it has been in debate among my friends and I.

Hmmmla

2006-01-31T15:13:00.000-05:00

Yup, been about 7 days. I know.

2:15 AM, 24 hours later

2006-01-23T02:14:00.000-05:00

I did it again.

2:05 AM

2006-01-22T02:04:00.000-05:00

Why am I still awake?

Something Only I Would Laugh At

2006-01-18T01:31:00.000-05:00

I was listening to an interview of Jeremy Soule (<---clicky); the man who composed the daring music of Icewind Dale, the composer of the totally captivating opuses in Knights Of The Old Republic, a man whose music scores in the Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban AND Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (for Xbox and Gamecube, respectively) match in quality very near perfectly the quality of the movies, and the man who composed the delectable, if short, music from Morrowind, and the man who put my favorite Oboe solo of all time at the Inn in Baldurs Gate: Dark Alliance II. The man is genius - right up there with John Williams.

So I was listening to his interview from XGR with my copy of iTunes (an interview with the man that at the time was quickly becoming my favorite composer), and at the end of Part IV of this delightful exchange iTunes decides to play a random song on my 3000 long list of songs....

And...

it chose to play the Overworld theme from The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past. And now I've laughed myself near to leaking from it. The irony that I completely forgot the most known and favored main theme of the best game series of all time. Jeremy Soule is amazing, but who can beat Mario? Everyone knows what I'm singing when I say out loud, "DaDa Da duDa DAA .. dmmm." The same for Zelda (mostly). I just thought the iTunes thing was really ironic. I probably still will when I'm 50.

ADD-friendly clickables

2006-01-13T00:51:00.000-05:00

Free John Piper MP3's - be forwarned Arminians and deists and possibly Wesleyans, he is a very well-versed Calvinist.

Ultra-High Security Password generator - for all of you who can't be held responsible for using the same two passwords over and over.

The game 'Six Degrees of Wikipedia' - very entertaining for the creative mind.

The coolest thing about xanga
followed by
The coolest thing about blogger

The coolest thing about Facebook is that except for those whom you know aren't (and it's quite obvious), everyone on it is a real person. That's quite a statement for something on the Interweb.

Someone should tell me what the coolest thing about MySpace is.

My Side of the Mountain

2006-01-08T19:22:00.000-05:00

"Fortunately, the sun has this wonderfully glorious habit of rising every morning."

Background

2006-01-02T17:15:00.000-05:00

This thing sees

Anyone else get apocalyptic vibes from that eye?

Sin is no thing (nothing)

2005-12-31T10:35:00.000-05:00

[What follows is a quite long post - but bear with me because it contains some absolutely excellent information]

Belief that sin is nothing is a dangerous belief. Really, it's not that the concept is wrong, but its purpose is easily mistaken. For God is Light and Life, and nothing else is, but should we really make a small burden of that which includes the Death of Christ? No, truly the fact that His Son is murdered makes God wanting such a thing much more profound and amazing. We know from Paul's writings to the Colosians that all things are of God - everything. That would include sin, if sin were a thing. And truly it does include sin, even though sin is no thing... however that is not in any sense paradoxical or incompatible.

John Piper uses an analogy by Jonathan Edwards to further such an unparadoxical end:
"... the way the sun brings about light and warmth by its essential nature, but brings about dark and cold by dropping below the horizon. "If the sun were the proper cause of cold and darkness," he says, "it would be the fountain of these things, as it is the fountain of light and heat: and then something might be argued from the nature of cold and darkness, to a likeness of nature in the sun." In other words, "sin is not the fruit of any positive agency or influence of the most High, but on the contrary, arises from the withholding of his action and energy, and under certain circumstances, necessarily follows on the want of his influence." "

Piper gives some examples of this: "God opposes hatred toward his people, yet ordained that his people be hated in Egypt (Genesis 12:3; Psalm 105:25 – "He turned their hearts to hate his people."). He hardens Pharaoh's heart, but commands him to let his people go (Exodus 4:21; 5:1; 8:1). He makes plain that it is sin for David to take a military census of his people, but he ordains that he do it (2 Samuel 24:1; 24:10). He opposes adultery, but ordains that Absalom should lie with his father's wives (Exodus 20:14; 2 Samuel 12:11). He forbids rebellion and insubordination against the king, but ordained that Jeroboam and the ten tribes should rebel against Rehoboam (Romans 13:1; 1 Samuel 15:23; 1 Kings 12:15-16). He opposes murder, but ordains the murder of his Son (Exodus 20:13; Acts 4:28). He desires all men to be saved, but effectually calls only some (1 Timothy 2:4; 1 Corinthians 1:26-30; 2 Timothy 2:26)."

I got this from
http://www.desiringgod.org/library/topics/suffering/god_and_evil.html

Purity

2005-12-29T00:21:00.000-05:00

According to Wikipedia, there are many theories about why we have dreams - and not one absolute reason or cause. We do know that God can give people dreams - such as to Jacob, but we cannot explain nightmares.

If we understood our dreams, then we'd understand our nightmares.

A Woman's Heart

2005-12-11T01:13:00.000-05:00

I read an amazing quote earlier today,

"A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her"

An old memory, but a good one

2005-12-09T13:57:00.000-05:00

I remember Voodoo which wasn't powerful enough, light sabers on the roof, and the children with their universal smiles. I remember Haitian sunsets, how the sun moves more across the sky in one day there than it does in two days here (making time seem so much longer). I remember a million times a million stars during the darkest part of the night in an area where light pollution is null, and I remember pushing a truck out of thick, two foot deep mud so we could get to a place where we needed to move cinder blocks for a orphanage. And I wish I remembered how to play the card game Presidente.

It has been a long time since Haiti, indeed.

syncopation

2005-12-03T12:09:00.000-05:00

According to Wikipedia, "In music, syncopation is the stressing of a normally unstressed beat in a bar or the failure to sound a tone on an accented beat... if the musician suddenly does not play anything on beat 1, that would also be syncopation.

The stress can also shift by less than a whole beat so it falls on an off-beat, as in the following example where the stress in the first bar is shifted by a quaver (or eighth-note):

"

I love syncopation. There are many times when my friends will find something that I do is slightly off-beat, creating a sort of living syncopation which accents the sweeter moments occuring in our presence. I strive to be living jazz.

I feel that Jesus, when he was on the earth anyways, made everyone throw up their hands trying to find His Rythm. The Pharisees and Pilate especially. Yet He was the only one not syncopated; He is constant. Thus He made them all syncopated and out of His beat... so that His beat might be the only One really known or heard (even when all thought their musical note was the focus at the time). What a profound truth, that His Beat is Constant.

I May Have Mentioned This, But...

2005-11-30T12:42:00.000-05:00

"Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money!
Boys will laugh at girls when they're not funny!"

Rinse and repeat.

"Wouldn't it be loverly?"

2005-11-27T01:17:00.000-05:00

the fingers fumble to write
what the brain has forgotten...

forgotten in the sweet nothingness of feelings pleasurable.

feeling not what is there, but what isn't...
much like pain is feeling flesh that is missing
not flesh that is existent.
in fact, much more than much like that;
exactly like that.

feeling the thing that has been missing from the beginning only to not actually feel the thing itself... but the absence of the thing more clearly than before.

and yet to not feel the thing in such a way is the closest way to owning the thing possible
(but it was never meant to be owned [by me]).

ardor
during
destructive,
illuminous,
cancerous
touch

EDIT: CHRIST IS BETTER THAN I AM.

Hardly Fighting

2005-11-19T00:17:00.000-05:00

I don't fight unless it is solely for the purpose of sport. I thoroughly enjoy watching and participating in JuJitSu, UFC (although not as much as in years past), and PrideFC.

Generally, as a light weight, I have a grapplers fighting style, although leg kicks are a friend of mine (watch your knees). My greatest weapon is not my own arm, but yours, and your neck is my Nuclear Missile.

But that's only in sport. In nearly any other setting, I would rather die by my friends hand than fight my friend, and likewise for my enemies. My death is not a thing worthy of my fear. My words (in love) are my shield.

untitled

2005-11-17T18:26:00.000-05:00

"I would have very highly valued and esteemed spending another evening of eating and talking with you."

Why do we not spend enough time with Christ? I forgot how valueble He is, and He reminded me by taking just one night I valued away from me. Now I glimpse again that His Value is True Value.

May the Lord always discipline me in ways that bring me back into Him. He is Life.

Some Napkin Poetry

2005-11-17T18:20:00.000-05:00

Neap
tap
the pencil which reminds
tap tap
the mind blankly searching
tap tap tap
the end is near

Overmind
Please pass the sauce.
Thank you.

Yum
Cheeseburger sub
Munch
The warmth of American grease

lunch after 6 months
Opened the door
found the three least hairy objects
delightfully stare in eagerness
wait for it...
wait for it...
Eat the one that doesn't move.

Never blow up a whale with explosives

2005-11-12T11:26:00.000-05:00

In the 1970s, it's always OK to use dynamite.

Caution: may result in blubber landing some distance away and may smash nearby vehicles.

Girls

2005-11-11T14:45:00.000-05:00

Thank God for females.

Manna

2005-11-03T19:47:00.000-05:00

This is a dream I had sometime ago. I wrote it down the day after having it because it was profound at the time (and still is a bit). Sadly it is mostly allegorical, which means the meaning lies in the dream itself and specifically lies in events of my own life (it's probably not applicable to any other particular person). I would like to assert that it is not Freudian.

I had a dream last night, the importance of which is beyond me or my physical natures; I cannot see so clearly or understand so clearly in real life as I understood in the dream. I acknowledge that such a thing is better than I am and cannot be claimed as mine any more than my body can be claimed as mine.

I was in an overgrown, dangerous Jungle which throughout the dream slowly becomes tame and familiar. I have come to this place searching for a girl. Any girl. As long as she is beautiful and desirable then it is my unworthy preposition to acquire her for my own means.

I approach a man in a jungle (how I or he or the jungle got there is part of the nature of the dream - placed there by my unconscious). He is greasy, has a small mustache, and a smile. That smile is not in place because he is happy for anyone (but perhaps himself). I know the deal and so does he. He has a girl whom is very beautiful, if slightly unhappy and feisty. He keeps them (the girls, there seem to be 5 or 6) in a cell covered in dirt and smelling slightly cold and dank but oddly clean.

Another client (who has his own lady from the previous man) and I take start into the jungle with our respective (if for now) girls. The girls staying with us are younger than we. The girl with me appearing the angelic age of 16 or 17, my girl (whom I do not possess, but is following me) appears as if she would rather have a bath. She has been well treated by the man, but apparently he has tried to use her in his dealings for a long time. She has blond hair that goes down to just below her ear and is well cut. She apparently is the most rebellious of the mans prospects.

This girl walks slightly behind me and talks with the other girl in some Latin-based language and also in what sounds to be German. Knowing French well enough to speak decently (at least in the dream) I ask her, "Tu parle Francais ou l'Anglias?" She replies in slightly hesitant English, "A good bit of French and some of English." Oddly, I find out through-out the rest of the short conversation that our vocabularies are exactly the same for French, and she understands all that I say in English, although she doesn't use English much when speaking to me.
We understand each other.
We do not speak of much, though. Nothing of our current journey, travel, or purpose.

There is water in this jungle. Now the direction we have traveled takes us to a more kept up area. The vines even seem swirled up the trees for a purpose. We hardly notice. Glancing through the forrest of thick, green trees, an enormous tree and many like it are fallen in our path (it seems it was in the recent days or weeks, before we got there). Textured with sprouts of grass, we walk on the dirt towards the fallen trees only to find that a small pond is where the path leads. Not only is there a pond, there is a large amount of water underneath the large freshly fallen trees which is only touched at the surface by them. They form an underwater cave of sorts through which we know our destination lies just on the other side where there would be seclusion.

I, without looking at the others, dive in. Bubbles float past my face as I stroke through the purest, bluest water ever. There is some algae floating around the bottom or top, but algea helps make the water as pure as it is. I glance back after the first quick stroke to see the others in the water following. Suddenly, whether due to our disturbance or some external force, there is a great rumbling, with a magnified effect on the others, whom panic leaps on in a way that screams for air. I look right at the other man, whose eyes have nearly opened beyond their widest point and grab his arm to pull some sense into him. As the protective ceiling of large trees above slowly becomes a pounding, insatiable roof, we make it out only by my pulling them all into greater focus and ability. We're out.

Our two groups separate. First we must walk. After about half a minute of walking the girl says something to me. It is French, but after about two seconds repeating it in my head, my mind repeats it in English, "You can do what you like with me". "I would not do anything," I reply. I decide I cannot desecrate that which has been saved from certain destruction.

I ask, "What is your name?"
She replies, "I am Catherine."

Suddenly there is another rumbling all around like an earthquake, but loud enough to block off all speech. We look back to the other man, who is doing little and hasn't had time to do anything but walk. The trees make noises trees only make when being rent by forces thousands of years older than themselves. There is a tree, slowly tottering. It will fall on the other man. I sprint (with the girl following behind) and push him and his girl out of the way in time (my girl got out of the way herself).

I decide to go back to the first man with the other man and the girls because they are apparently too shaken to do anything else, but to our surprise, after the first rumbling, the first man came after us.

After explaining everything and asking to keep the girl with the intentions of freeing her for whatever price he names (hopefully not more than I have) the man decides to give the girl Catherine to me for free. "She will not trouble me anymore," he said.

Then I wake up from my dream. But her name stays with me. Catherine. There must be a meaning to this dream beyond what happened. I do my quiet time, which is about the changed life we must live but only Christ can give us, get cleaned up and get dressed, and then go to google Catherine. "meaning of Catherine" I type into the search engine and this pops up in one of the top webpages:

Origin: Greek
Meaning: Pure.

I dreamt of purity.

I really wish I blogged more

2005-10-31T14:05:00.000-05:00

May there be so much less of me and more of You.
You possess riches I've never seen and I'm thirsty.
Oh well you are the Great I Am,
So I will worship where I stand
And since this weakness is who I am...
Fade me away,
Fade me away.

Why do I seek the Living among the dead?
Fix my eyes on the thrown of Heaven, for I've been razed.
Well You are the Great I am,
So I will worship where I stand.
Since this weakness is who I am,
Fade me away,
Fade me away.

-Graham Davis- 'Fade me away'

Currently

2005-10-26T14:26:00.000-04:00

My new dorm mate is sleeping. I shall soon also endeaver a nap. My old roommate needs prayer (pray for Justin). The (insert explicative) internet connection here at the school is slower than dial-up most of the time.

I keep thinking of awesome things to write here throughout the day during my classes, but forget most of them. The one I do remember I post for your pleasure below;

All things are conditional on the unconditional love of God.

Time

2005-10-21T01:42:00.000-04:00

Summer, don't leave me so soon! Fall is a heavy thing.

God loves me how?

2005-10-19T12:18:00.000-04:00

God's version of flowers and chocolates and candlelight dinners comes in the form of sunsets and falling stars, moonlight on lakes and cricket symphonies; warm wind, swaying trees, lush gardens, and fierce devotion.

John and Stasi Eldredge in "Captivating"

to give my life

2005-10-18T00:17:00.000-04:00

can it be over with?

"it is finished,"
but it is not done yet.

"We know that the whole creation has been groaning ... right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved." Romans 8:22-24

May my inward groanings not trouble anyone... they are simply an expressiong of my hope for something better than this wretched body. This is the only appropriate form of "wining", that which is an internal expression of eternal hope. "Three things remain; faith, hope, and love..."

"Power kills. Weakness creates."

2005-10-11T12:41:00.000-04:00

I would like (sometime before I'm 40 years old) to get a tatoo across my back in the largest Greek letters possible (roughly translated) "THE WORST SINNER".

"We are all the same people
with sinning hearts that make us equal."

Can my body, nay, my heart, my center, my driving force, my beating energy ever be fully and continuously focused on Christ? Not while my body (my flesh, my desires, my self) is alive.

It isn't about me or anything I do... (I am just some guy)
Christ is faithful (it's about what He has done).

I'm having a hard time examining myself

2005-10-06T13:51:00.000-04:00

What kind of a person am I?

A whisper in the terrible tremble

2005-10-01T18:21:00.000-04:00

The Anvil falls.

Crushing blows
like hammer strikes...
who knew free association could hurt so much?
The stream hurts
not the streamer
but the reciever.
Death blows from deep within the heart of concrete -
not concrete like dust and water mixed together,
but concrete
as touch
and sight
and sound
and texture.
More concrete than
the fleeting memories
which construct themselves into lines -
without form except in the sentences themselves.

Don't hear the words coming out of my mouth,
hear the words coming out of my head.
Don't hear the Words coming out of His mouth,
hear the Words coming out of His Head.

Supernatural, not superficial

2005-09-21T14:19:00.000-04:00

I think I'll make the title a song title at some point.

My arms are like meat from it, my legs feel the throbbing soreness of it,
my thoughts are enamored by it and seek out all its ways
(hating this body as this body brings the rest of all other things to focus on itself).
It is the precursor to death and is death itself, but we are called to die everyday anyways.
How much longer, God?

I have pain (but not fear).

Do not fear
even though
you are smitten.

Maybe...

2005-09-18T00:21:00.000-04:00

"The Pomegranate, Punica granatum, is a species of fruit-bearing deciduous shrub or small tree growing to 5-8 m tall."

There seems to be one of the best digital pictures of a cut open and ripe piece of fruit somewhere on that page.

The sun never sets on a plane going west

2005-09-14T22:04:00.000-04:00

That's a song title by a band called "Saint Maybe". Check em' out on purevolume.

The title strikes me because in the lyrics, they tell the life story of a Christian (without ever mentioning a plane).

I've just realized that we (Christians) are the plane described in the title, and that when we are spiritually flying west (into the Son of God), our lives are really like a plane, heading into the western setting sun. This strikes me as something beautiful.

Got a grappling video going to watch with the guys sometime.

Wow.... just wow.

2005-09-05T00:09:00.000-04:00

Troy's Mixtape Of Love

Christ centered Communicative Rationality and Universal Pragmatics

2005-09-01T15:00:00.000-04:00

I highly agree with the concepts outlined below which are formally known as Communicative Rationality (also known as post-metaphysical trends) and Universal Pragmatics. The originator of said concepts is called Jurgen Habermas.

"In its essence the idea of communicative rationality draws upon the implicit validity claims that are inescapably bound to the everyday practices of individuals capable of speech and action. A mutual understanding can be achieved through communication only by fusing the perspectives of individuals, which requires they reach an agreement (even if it is only assumed) on the validity of the speech acts being shared. Moreover, the speech acts shared between individuals in communication are laden with three different types of validity claims, all of which quietly but insistently demand to be justified with good reasons. Communicative rationality appears in the intuitive competencies of communicative actors who would not feel that a mutual understanding had been achieved if the validity claims raised were unjustifiable. Thus, the simple process of reaching an understanding with others impels individuals to be accountable for what they say and to be able to justify the validity claims they raise concerning normative (WE), evaluative (I) and objective matters (IT).

Of course a very important issue arises from this, which is that what constitutes a good or acceptable justification varies from context to context. Even if it is accepted that rationality must be expanded to include normative and evaluative dimensions it is not clear what it is that makes a speech act justified, because it is unclear what constitutes a good reason."

Universal Pragmatics defines 'good reason' in the above quote by implication through concept... such as the concepts listed below:

"One of its most noteworthy proponents, and the one who coined the term, is the philosopher Jürgen Habermas. He suggests in his essay, "What is Universal Pragmatics?" (Habermas 1979), that human competition, conflict, and strategic action are really attempts to reach an understanding. The implication is that coming to terms with how people might understand one another would reduce conflict in the world."

"The term itself is already indicative of the two great traditions it seeks to reconcile. On the one hand, ideas are drawn from the tradition of Plato, Aristotle and Kant, wherein words (and their corresponding concepts) are regarded as universally valid idealizations (whose truth content is gleaned by a reflexive examination of the collectively shared meanings which he/she shares with most other speakers). And on the other hand, theory is drawn out of the American Pragmatist tradition (George Herbert Mead, Charles Peirce, Charles W. Morris) for whom words are arbitrary signs devoid of intrinsic meaning, and whose function is to denote the things and processes in the objective world that surrounds the speakers."

"A hearer may reject the offering of a speech act on the grounds that it is invalid because it:

presupposes or explicates states of affairs which are not the case (IT);
does not conform to accepted normative expectations (WE);
raises doubts about the intensions or sincerity of the speaker (I).

Of course from this it follows that if a hearer accepts the offering of a speech act they do so on the grounds that it is valid because it:

presupposes or explicates states of affairs that are true (IT);
conforms to accepted normative expectations (WE);
raises no doubts concerning the intensions or sincerity of the speaker (I).

This means that when engaging in communication the speaker and hearer are inescapably oriented to the validity of what is said. A speech act can be understood as an offering, the success or failure of which depends upon the hearer’s response of either accepting or rejecting the validity claims it raises. The three dimensions of validity pointed out above are implicated in any attempt at communication."

"In other words, communication is always somewhat rational. Communication could not occur if the participants thought that the speech acts exchanged did not carry the weight of a validity for which those participating could be held accountable. Nor would anyone feel that a conclusion was justified if it was achieved by any other means than the uncoerced force of the better argument. Nor could the specialized discourses of law, science and morality continue if the progress of knowledge and insight was denied in favor of relativism."

Thus 'good reason' within Communicative Rationality is simply the act of communication itself. This does not include falsehoods or lies (to my understanding).

Prayer takes on a whole new meaning when considering Communicative Rationality. Each act of communication creates a neural net (interconnected) point of reference. Each word (truth value) becomes connected to the entire whole. Any utterance to God is, in essence, a completely rational and implicitly valuable thing under Communicative Rationality. This also raises the Bible (as it considers itself the Word of God) to a level of realness that is savory to the soul. And now for the most important conclusion; any communication God has with you (through His Word or otherwise) is connected to every other truth value associated with Him, thus all His Words are implicative of the rest of His Infinite Being.

Star Light

2005-08-26T23:59:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Amber for provoking such responses as those below.

Star light is the youngest thing we will ever see. It travels thousands of years, making the light which actually enters your minds eye the closest thing to creation viewable to the naked eye. It's also a lot like the sparkle in someone else's eye; the light of a deep well of thoughts (if you're looking at the right person).

"You know the feeling you get in your gut right before your first roller coaster and the adrenaline and endorphines which also flow giving you fluid energy? It's like that."

Further Seems Forever, Part Alpha

2005-08-26T14:59:00.000-04:00

The moon is down,
and heaven is waiting
for us to find her in our sites
with focus that's strong
but my strength keeps slipping.

Now we're all the terminal cases,
but were so determined to thrive.
And those with defeat on their faces,
are those that we must keep alive.
And I admire your strength.
You keep us going on.
You keep us fighting long after the fire.

You've measured our strides,
marked the degree of our fever.
Charted the log.
Made sure the temperature's rising.

To fan the flames,
and brandish our new courage proudly,
as if it were ours from the outset.
As if we were never alone.

The moon is down,
and heaven is waiting,
for callers and entries
as we're calling out:
"This is ours, ours, ours. This one is ours!"

Now we're all the terminal cases,
but we're so determined to thrive.
And those with defeat on their faces,
are those that we must keep alive.
And I admire your strength,
you keep us going on,
you keep us fighting,
long after the fire.

I dig you

2005-08-24T22:10:00.000-04:00

"I will enjoy His communication very much concerning that."

"There is at least a working and good friendship here He has already allowed."

2005-08-23T15:29:00.000-04:00

"But with blast shield down I can't see anything!"

2005-08-13T11:12:00.000-04:00

LASIK post-op "Blast Shield"

This lovely Blast Shield with covering UV Guard can be yours for only four easy payments of 99999999999.99 (which is obviously quite better than 100 billion!) Get your's today!

PS - I can now see 20/25 ish. This is before healing and very good.
PPS - The Question, a new CD by Emery (alt rock Christian), is very good. I love their sound. They have lyrics which aren't quite as good (read: as thought-provoking) as Relient K's recent endeaver, but still superb in every other category.

Doodie

2005-08-10T22:33:00.000-04:00

I have floaters

2005-08-05T14:31:00.000-04:00

Floaters, while I'm certainly not bothered by them as much as some other people, are about a 15% part of my vision 90% of the time when I'm looking at any light above a dimly lit room. I guess I've just learned to live with them.

I also have extreme Myopia or nearsigtedness. Extreme as in 7 (at least) diopters in each eye(which you can read about diopters, or in some of the pictures see the effects, in the Wikipedia article above how blurry that might be). This, combined with astigmatism of about 3 diopters makes me vision quite a delectable mix of color and movement with little to no explicit detail beyond shape. You'd be surprised how well the human brain can compensate for the equipment failure by refining the art of pattern recognition.

My grandmother (she is grand) has offered to get me LASIK, which is a praise to God.

Just thought I'd share.

"You must cut down the largest tree in the forrest with... a herring!"

2005-07-30T18:49:00.000-04:00

Tree.

Click the above. Then.... enjoy.

So yeah, I do have a final coming up, probably shouldn't be drawing as many trees as I do. Heck yes I'm studying for the final! Thank the Lord it's not cumulative. I would really like to make an 88 or above.

Is there such a thing as intellectual ADD, because I'm not swayed by the moment but I do get off topic very easily. This term "intellectual ADD" doesn't refer to intelligence, such as say an ADDer who may say "Look! A butterfly!" in the middle of their botanical docterate thesis research, assuming we're dealing with such a person. That particular ADDer is on topic, but unfocused. I, however, in such a situation as researching a botanical docterate thesis, would say instead after observing an orange, "I wonder if the ascorbic acid produced by this fruit affects the underlying balance of energy produced by this area of the world, increasing the chance an unbalanced weather pattern 8000 miles away in the city of Japan." I am very off topic, but also very focused. This is what I would like to consider "intellectual ADD". Wikipedia does not eleviate this problem.

And so I'm off to study migratory patterns... I mean... sociology.

Well

2005-07-26T23:56:00.000-04:00

It's not that nothing is happening in my life, I just haven't written anything about stuff. There's too much, and it's all mostly unorganized and not well thought out (yet). I did go climbing today, though, got to jump off a 25 ft wall and it felt good (I'm def a skinny guy with mostly legs).

On the list of things to blog here (hopefully):
Ethics (ethics and Hedonistic ethics on wikipedia)
Toccoa Falls College stuff
YoungLife stuff (pray hard for this)
On the security issues with posting your location and pictures on a xanga/blog/website and being a small person who might not be able to defend themselves
Some of my favorite people and why
A remembrance of Love

I am a hopeless romantic on the inside

2005-07-20T12:08:00.000-04:00

What if you could only kiss someone whom you were going to spend the rest of your life with? What if physics, in its' infinite wisdom, placed a barrier in front of all our lips for which the only key existed in your perfect partners deep and longing and intimate embrace?

I like to think a whole lot of the worlds' problems would go away...
and I would kiss the only one who could unlock my lips. Lots. Even when we got old.

That is why I haven't allowed my lips the lips of another for the past three and a half years. At the end (or rather the beginning), when I find her and my barrier unlocks for her, by the grace of God it will be good.

722.org

2005-07-19T23:05:00.000-04:00

A Poem

2005-07-18T23:09:00.000-04:00

I do know the greatest poem ever. I did not write it, and acknowledge Nicholas Fiedler as the originator of this brilliance. I do however, use this poem to express some of my greatest smiles in words to some worthy person. I do have my own poem I tried to make as it's worthy sequel, but it is not as great as the original awesomeness. Below is Fiedler's most worthy original:

you make
me breath
fast
-er

Something that cracks me up that I have to share...

2005-07-14T21:39:00.000-04:00

"My son is better at Halo than your Honor student."

A Recent Thought

2005-07-14T20:57:00.000-04:00

God is really cool, and He used my friend Sharon recently to allow me to write something that is one of the best thought-to-language writings I've ever had. Here lies a slightly edited entry of the sort. And also do pray for Sharon and her immense gift and burden of deep and wide emotions:

Being human (and particularly male), the part of my brain which says, "Do stop talking my good fellow, that's quite enough," just doesn't do it's job properly occasionally. Conversely, half the time the problem isn't even in what my brain allows me to say but what my brain doesn't. The area which says, "Do stop," also says, "It would be most congruous of you to say some more to this wonderful person about their wonder," yet I equally fail many times to accurately uphold such a standard for my person. It is therefore my continued conclusion that anything good I do is not my own but God's; I can only conclude that if any part of my restrictive reasoning fails then all of it lacks a trustworthy precision, portraying God's grace in my life in any good actions coming through me (good actions cannot be attributed to such a lack luster mind and body). To Him be the glory.

What is love

2005-07-10T23:14:00.000-04:00

God works in mysterious ways.

Flashback

2005-07-06T15:45:00.000-04:00

Me in a box

That's me at camp at age 16 (about four years ago). I was on workcrew and had to dispose of this box, but it made a comfy seat for a minute before it went to it's death.

Independence

2005-07-04T20:33:00.000-04:00

Sleep

2005-06-29T00:57:00.000-04:00

J. B. Phillips

2005-06-27T22:54:00.000-04:00

Let me give you some background and then some amazing quotes. Before there was the New International Version of the Bible, before the New American Standard Bible, before NKJV, before Peterson's The Message, there was the KJV. In the 1950's, J. B. Phillips found that his youth at his church could hardly adequately understand the dated (but accurate) language and translation used in the King James Version of the New Testament. Thus, knowing Greek and a good bit of English, he made another translation just for his youth. Then he made a better version a few years later (excellently revised in every way). Here is an excerpt from the preface of his The New Testament in Modern English:

Translation as Interpretation

As I have frequently said, a translator is not a commentator. He is usually aware of the different connotations which a certain passage may bear, but unless his work is to be cluttered with footnotes he is bound, after careful consideration, to set down what is the most likely meaning. Occasionally one is driven into what appears to be a paraphrase, simply because a literal translation of the original Greek would prove unintelligible. But where this has proved necessary I have been careful to avoid giving any slant or favor which is purely of my own making. That is why I have been reluctant to accept the suggestion that my translation is "interpretation"! If the word interpretation is used in a bad sense, that is, if it means that a work is tendentious, or that there has been a manipulation of the words of New Testament Scripture to fit some private point of view, then I would still strongly repudiate the charge! But "interpretation" can also mean transmitting meaning from one language to another, and skilled interpreters of world affairs do not intentionally inject any meaning of their own. In this sense I gladly accept interpretation to describe my work. For, as I see it, it is the translator's function to understand as fully and deeply as possible what the New testament writers had to say and then, after a process of what might be called reflective digestion, to write it down in the language of the people today. And here I must say it is essential for the interpreter to know the language of both parties. He may be a first-class scholar in New Testament Greek and know the significance of every traditional crux, and yet be abysmally ignorant of how his contemporaries outside his scholastic world are thinking and feeling.

... and so on.

His writing reflects the care he had for the people he translated for. The translation reads incredibly well for something from 1972 (ish).

-Ben-

The End of Isaiah 2

2005-06-24T11:10:00.000-04:00

Christian Freedom

2005-06-22T13:10:00.000-04:00

Topic from a forum post on Bungie.net

Does free will exist? Well? Does it? First you must define "free". Can anything actually be 'free'? Free from what? To be truly 'free', do you have to be free from yourself? If you are bound to yourself, then you're a slave to yourself, so then is that 'free'? Freedom, anyone?

From a Christian perspective (all of the proceeding is from such a perspective), there is no freedom outside of Christ. Therefore free will is not your will, but Christ's will in your life. If you ever feel free but Christ is not in your freedom, then you are being lied to by Satan and the World and your Flesh. Nothing is free but that which comes from Him. This is the power of Christ; not that we have power, but that His power reigns through us. Free will is your will, but it's not free unless Christ is in it.

Oh yes, I suppose we could argue that "free will" only applies to humans in this particular thread. It might be interesting to pursue the concept of "free will" for some other entity (whether God or something else [animals? Angles?]). I didn't specify at the start what entities could be included (how sneaky of me!) analyzing human will seems more... useful to the population that read this :).

But back to the point of God's will in our lives, the main objection would then be that God is responsible for our sins. Life is about God and His glory though, not about sin. He says of Himself, "I am a jealous God". How could a eternal, jealous, and just God not allow eternal suffering for those who seek to take His glory for themselves?! If we share in His suffering on the cross of Christ, we share His glory, but if we seek our own lives then we lose them (Jesus said, "Whoever seeks to save his life will lose it but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it").

Then again the objection could be God is unjust then (which He isn't). But Paul deals with this situation in Romans and quotes what God says to Moses concerning Pharoah. Romans 9:14-16 says, "What then shall we say? Is God unjust? Not at all! For he says to Moses,
'I will have mercy on whom I have mercy,
and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.'
It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy."
He also lists Jacob and Esau (Isaac's sons) as an example. He goes on to say in verses 19-21, "One of you will say to me: 'Then why does God still blame us? For who resists his will?' But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, 'Why did you make me like this?', does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use?"

Another claim someone may make (such as one did on the forums this originated) is that people obviously decide everything and how can God control that? My response is also a question, can anyone prove that any decision "they made" was actually made by themselves?

It's still not about people's decisions; your decision doesn't bring anything to God. You can't add to infinity. God is already perfect, how can you add to that? Therefore no decision any person makes adds to God and therefore human will doesn't really matter. All that matters is God and His will; Jesus Christ and Him crucified to save the world to the glory of God.

(Edited in) Of course another objection is that the love of a willing person is somehow greater than the love of someone who is under control. Yet in Christ's life (as He tells us in John 14) we know that every event and every act of love of His was guided by God Himself. If Christ's life is greater than our lives (which I would love to hear someone object to), then even if our lives are completely free from God's influence this objection contains a fallacy; that our love would then be greater than Christ's love (which cannot be).(end Edit)

And I digress. I am not the Judge of the Universe. These matters are really between you and God. He is the Righteous Judge.

-Ben W-

Fast

2005-06-21T10:51:00.000-04:00

No reserve, no retreat, no regret.

The Answer To The Riddle Is "Nothing".

2005-06-20T15:26:00.000-04:00

God works in mysterious ways.

Batman Begins

2005-06-17T01:26:00.000-04:00

Amazing.

One of the many awesome quotes of the movie is when Bruce Wayne's father tells Bruce,
"Why do we fall, sir? So that we might better learn to pick ourselves up."
Bruce's father is holding Bruce when he says this. He doesn't make Bruce pick himself up.

God's day was good today and even if mine was bad, it didn't matter because God shared His with me.

I hope you like riddles;

What is greater than God,
More evil than the Devil,
The poor have it,
The rich need it,
And if you eat it, you'll die?

Answer in the comment box.

-Ben-

PS - Nothing doesn't exist. Kind of. Don't think too hard about it.
PPS - Dang, keep having to edit this.
PPPS - can someone explain loneliness to me (particularly why I am)(maybe I'm just tired right now, though)?

Not Verbatim

2005-06-14T09:30:00.000-04:00

Excerpts from Dashboard Confessional's "The Brilliant Dance".

So this is strange,
our sidestepping has come to be a brilliant dance
where nobody leads at all,
where nobody leads at all.

And the picture frames are facing down
and the ringing from this empty sound
is deafening and keeping you from sleep.
And breathing is a foreign task
and thinking's just too much to ask
and you're measuring your minutes by a clock that's blinking eights.

This is incredible.
Starving, insatiable,
yes, this is love...
Well you'd like to think that you were invincible.
Yeah, well weren't we all once before we felt loss...

Excerpt's from Relient K's "Life after Death and Taxes".

Hey taxi, send me straight to the heart of it
The nucleus of politics was somebody
Somebody started it
Cause they taxed me with a scalpel piece by piece
they cut me deep and let me dry until there was nothing left to bleed

And this is how I choose to live
As if I´m jumping off a cliff
knowing that you´ll save me [2x]
and after all the stupid things I did
there´s nothing left that you´d forgive
because you already forgave me
yeah you already forgave me

Keep driving
leave this deceit miles behind me
so far back I´d have to wrap my mind in
just remind me
I can´t try this to pick myself up
and then move on
think about the life I´ll have
when this fragile one is gone.

And this is how I choose to live
As if I´m jumping off a cliff
knowing that you´ll save me [2x]
and after all the stupid things I did
there´s nothing left that you´d forgive
because you already forgave me
yeah you already forgave me

Never forget
there´s life after death and taxes
Forgiveness come
and all of the rest
is what passes away
Death and decay can´t touch us now

Every breath that I inhale is followed by exhaling traps the one who never failed
I know you´ll never failed me

Never forget
there´s life after death and taxes
Forgiveness come (forgiveness come)
and all of the rest
it just passes away

Death and decay can´t touch us now.

-Ben-

Explosive Tearing Hope

2005-06-13T16:51:00.000-04:00

So apparently she has a significant other already. I did not know this. I think the saying is,
"Girls are like Parking Spaces;
Your favorites are all either reserved or taken...
And the rest are handicapped."

However the visit was still absolutely amazing and I regret nothing. There is still a friendship there which exceeds the physical and transcends by the grace of God into something with unnatural boundaries. I simply misread myself and the physics of the love. And also having done this before to myself, I find that my love is still undivided and a part of God's purpose for me. Yet the love is now understood more as the misread part is now less misread by this event.

Basically, I feel good and happy with this circumstance as even though I was mistaken, little evil came of it (in fact, I got to hear a riveting story of an 18 hour road trip to Texas)(and good Chia tea)(and the weather cooperated right on time).

-Ben-

PS - Wow, didn't realize how poo my spelling could be until I used spellchecker.

Is Something Wrong

2005-06-08T23:47:00.000-04:00

This explosive, tearing hope is like
this explosive, tearing doubt.

What if I tell you I'm in love with you, but the only answer is "Maybe later." You are worth forever, let alone later! Will you wait for me if I wait for you? Can my love be conditional on our waiting and still be love?

I think I am in love, but she doesn't know yet. A love like blinking; so natural that I only noticed it after it has happened and happened again and again and again. All the time I have known my love for her (just as I have known blinking), only now that I notice it consciously, a short while passes before it becomes natural again. Does the recognition of being in love change the very love itself? I suppose no more than recognizing blinking changes the very nature of blinking (from unconscious to conscious). Now there is choice when there should only be action. There is no choice, just the following of the original action; love.

-Ben-

I have already failed my love by doubting.

C. S. Lewis

2005-06-07T20:54:00.000-04:00

Sorry, not my thoughts tonight. My entree is what is on my mind, not my own thoughts, per say.

From the Screwtape letters (the demon Screwtape writing):
"It is funny how mortals always picture us as putting things into their minds: in reality our best work is done by keeping things out."
"...thousands of humans have been brought to think that humility is pretty women trying to believe they are ugly and clever men trying to believe they are fools."

Concerning the first quote above, I must say there are many times in everyone's life when we see what would be good to do in real life in our minds and then somehow have doubt and don't do the conceived item. I think it's safe to say we all hate that.

The remedy is faith and grace (which I got from the book of Romans and an author named John Piper (his book Future Grace).

-Ben-

Quotes for tonight

2005-06-02T19:11:00.000-04:00

"...there is a deeper breath behind it, and that encourages me, that God would love us in the same way and minister to our spirits even though we are 100 miles apart."

"International Peace screams for attention louder than the 3000 people who died in September 11 do not."

Both quotes came from the lips of my mouth, or more precisely, the tips of my fingers against a set, plastic keyboard.

Premise to Deduction

2005-05-25T10:48:00.000-04:00

Posted by: Nanotam of Bungie.net
P.S.
I have since my original post found a person who witht the proper education (i only a freshmen in highschool lacking this) put my point and arrgument into logical and senseable points thank you to whom other wrote this Choice: Selecting from one of two or more courses of action with concious will (To differentiate from subconcious action for example)
Motive: That which causes a choice.

Premise 1: Choices are either caused or are uncaused (Law of excluded middle)
Premise 2: An uncaused choice cannot be a choice (Definition of choice)
Premise 3: If choices are caused, they are caused by motives (Which follows from the fact that the cause of a choice is defined as the motive)

Deduction A: Choices must be caused (From 1 & 2)
Deduction B: Choices are caused by motives (From 3 & A)
Deduction C: We cannot choose our motives (From A & B)

Conclusion: Our choices are dictated by motives over which we cannot have control.

In other words, there is no free will.

"If cause does not preceed choice, then it really wasn't a choice. If cause preceeds choice, then, ultimately, choice is not free." - AKG

Some more logic for you my friend (added on to the above):

Definition of a motive: An emotion, desire, physiological need, or similar impulse (impulse as defined as 'force') that acts as an incitement to action. (This definition is still not quite adequate for me. Example: does sin have motive? Does the cause of sin have motive? Does the cause of the cause have motive... and so on?)

Premise 4: Motives are caused by a force. (Definition of a Motive)
Premise 5: No greater force can be imagined than God; God exists and is the greatest possible force (Based on an Ontological Argument
Premise 6: (Still thinking about this Premise, might need another Premise/Deduction) Any force smaller than the largest force cannot exist without the greatest force (because without the greatest force the force just less than the greatest becomes the greatest and so on)

Deduction D: The greatest force causes the greatest motive in our lives (from 4 & 5).
Deduction E: The greatest force causes the smallest motive in our lives (from 6)
Deduction F: God causes the smallest motives and the greatest motives in our lives (from 5, D, & E)

God is good, and I'm really not that good at logic; but hopefully this is satisfactory,

Currently re-reading The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe.

Also on the list of Philosophy:

A starting point has been reached between myself and my dear friend Fiedler concerning the wondrously difficult concept of Nothing.
This is from a forum entry of mine, concerning the beginning, "...time is measured by event, such as the vibrations of a quartz crystal, or the swinging of a pendolum, or the changing of sunlight over the face of the earth, or any other action in the universe. You measure one event against another and bam, you have time. Beyond actions, time is immeasurable. You can't go back in time forever, though. At some point, there was nothing to measure, and you can't observe nothing because there's nothing there - you'd have to be nothing yourself to observe nothing or else you'd just be observing the only thing in the nothing, [which is] yourself (as there would be nothing else there)...."

The debate is whether or not Nothing actually exists; 'Nothing' being a true vacuum, void of all energy, matter, heat, light, and thought (which is not possible in our percevable universe). The observation that we cannot make direct observations of Nothing is now our starting point. I argue that Nothing can be observed indirectly and point theologically to the first few sentences of Genesis, in which the equivilant of Nothing exists (?) along with God and is known as 'Void'. Perhaps I'll have some philosophy to point to at some point(beyond Nihilism - but I must admit that if either of us takes a Nihilistic view then there wouldn't be a point to continue discussion).

Blogged,
-Ben-

Two Words

2005-05-18T18:56:00.000-04:00

Star Wars.

Pleonasm

2005-05-06T16:38:00.000-04:00

The title is a real word, for those wondering.

I've just learned that the Greek had two words for the single English concept of "excess". This has tickled me a good bit. One word I could understand.... but *two*!? Isn't that redundant? Ha, wouldn't it be like having two words for "repitition"? I mean, come on, that's gotta be linguistic humor at a peak, or something. Probably not.
Nevermind.

Moving on,
The man, Jürgen Habermas, is amazing. I've only just found him, but I share his philosophy. I won't know to what degree I agree until I read his book. But wow! This guy speaks of communication as if the whole of world peace and deliberate unification of homo-sapiens relied on simple words! Brilliant.

-Ben-

To A Loner

2005-05-03T20:28:00.000-04:00

He is the Alpha and Omega.
He is the beginning and the end.

I cannot help you.
You ask for help,
But I cannot help you.

I tell you that you are not looking for people,
Even though you consider yourself a loner.
You are looking for the one thing
That satisfies the one desire
That encapsulates your being.

Your torrid scream is
I HAVE VALUE
Yet the only response is a hollow echo,
The echo that reverberates in your very soul;
In the sinews of your heart.

You really ask,
"My God, where are You";
"Where is God?”

But I tell you
Call on the name of the Lord.
Call on Jesus.
Jesus is all you need.
JESUS.
Call His name.
"He that calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."
Do not stop.
JESUS.
He is the Father to the fatherless,
Friend of the friendless.
He is Jesus.

He is the Alpha and Omega.
He is the beginning and the end.
He is your beginning;
He is your end.
Therefore end yourself in Him.

-Ben-

Dedicated to God and Gold Templar II of Bungie.net

Things You Should Think About for a Long Time

2005-04-27T18:43:00.000-04:00

Global Warming - particularly the "Criticisms" part.
Ontology - the study of "being". How do you know you exist? How do you know this blog exists? ect.
Objecthood - nearly the same as Ontology. They are brothers of potentially annoying parents.
Batteryless, wireless mouse - nuff' said.
Batteryless flashlight - check it out!
Albert Einstien Action Figure - eat your heart out Seth Green!
The source for all things Halo - see title.
The second source for all things Halo - also see title.
Nicholas Fiedler - think about him now! Or something.
Further Seems Forever - now think about them for a bit.
Do you believe in free will? What makes it 'free' anyways? Are you a thiest, a diest, (or perhaps) an athiest? - WOW. Let your brain explode now.

Double Mmhmm

2005-04-24T14:33:00.000-04:00

It'sa my Blog for the day!

Feel free to leave your own artpad.art.com art in the comment box,
-Ben-

Pain happens, but grace increases!

2005-04-17T23:16:00.000-04:00

Texas rocks.

Anyways...

I think of Job in the Bible, he suffered much, but was rewarded. Even though he was righteous, he repented in dust and ashes his suffering because he saw God. He simply wanted to know why he was in pain, but we aren't suppose to know why sometimes. Pain just happens to increase our character occasionally. By worrying about why, Job sinned because the question 'why', implies the circumstances he had were not reasonable or part of any plan at all (but they were); and thus he assumed himself to be more knowledgable than God in his circumstances. Of course, pain is integral to any existence, as it is simply the unpleasant message that some thing is injured in some way and without knowing injury has occurred, a being would not function properly. (a more in depth analysis pain and grace, particularly grace, perhaps later). Thus pain happens. I'll get to the increasing grace in a bit.
-Ben-

By the way....

2005-04-16T12:07:00.000-04:00

If you have even the slightess interest in a little game called Halo 2, then you might like to see this (Click Me).

Almost Morning

2005-04-16T10:29:00.000-04:00

Good morning. Funny how "mourning" and "morning" seem to idealize the complete opposite feel when you think about them, yet they sound exactly the same. "Morning" has a fresh, optimistic continuity that "mourning" just doesn't have. "Mourning" feels dark, painful, and brings about images of loved things lost, or deep, repititious, and worthless actions over seemingly pointless pain. "Morning" almost doesn't have pain associated with it - except the waking sensation from delectable nothing, which pervades our nights.

That being said, I fully intend to try to love today as much as I can, even in my work place. Too many people here are on the verge of deep pain.

In other news, leave any prayers requests you have in the comment box, and if you see someone else's, feel free to pray for them.
-Ben-

God rocks

2005-04-13T00:21:00.000-04:00

See title, then see this.

The things we know are not the things we hate.

2005-04-11T12:44:00.000-04:00

Ever start your morning off early intending to do things? I'm speaking of the things that may or may not be listed as (1) start running in the mornings, (2) make a video blog, (3) dedicate large amounts of time to Jesus during the previous two activities, and (4) getting food. All this and more intended for the life of Ben.

After waking up about 20 minutes late and having the fellow Americans in my house require indefinite and probably infinite technical computer help, the previous listed four events may have happened, but not on this plane of existence. I'm regretably still waiting for a greater plane to hit me in a way that is not like a terrorist attack; I really need to transcend to a greater existence soon.

For the people who don't like abstract ideas and big words, basically my Monday morning has been poo.

-Ben-

Hello

2005-04-10T13:08:00.000-04:00

It starts. Blog me.

"Are you ignorant, or apathetic?"

2005-04-07T19:27:00.000-04:00

The correct answer to the above is "I don't know and I don't care!" I'm about to go house sitting for my aunt, which will rock. I will eventually [read: soon] start just blogging via video and not via text. Might be more ADD friendly that way for you and me. G'day,
-Ben-